I am also okay with the editorial comments suggested although I have already voted. Marita On 7/30/2020 4:53 AM, Justine Chew wrote:
I too have found myself in the situation of finding useful editorial improvements after a statement has been issued for ALAC vote.
While I didn't feel compelled to raise any for this particular statement, since yours are of the editorial nature and don't change the substance of the statement, I can support their inclusion as well.
I would appreciate it if staff could coordinate with ALL the penholders in finalising the copy on an urgent basis, and noting that the ALAC vote is ongoing, all ALAC members should be informed accordingly.
Thanks, Justine ------
On Thu, 30 Jul 2020 at 15:54, Maureen Hilyard <maureen.hilyard@gmail.com <mailto:maureen.hilyard@gmail.com>> wrote:
Thank you Sebastien. Im sure we can go ahead with Bastiaan's changes.
On Wed, Jul 29, 2020 at 9:27 PM Sebicann Bachollet <sebicann@bachollet.fr <mailto:sebicann@bachollet.fr>> wrote:
Hello, Thanks Bastiaan, I agree that your suggestion are not substantive but will help to understand better the document. May we ask Joanna, Bastiaan and Ricardo with staff to finalise the document before sending as a comment? THanks all. All the best SeB
Sébastien Bachollet +33 6 07 66 89 33 sebicann@bachollet.fr <mailto:sebicann@bachollet.fr> @SebBach
EURALO Chair
Le 29 juil. 2020 à 18:13, Bastiaan Goslings <b.goslings@gmail.com <mailto:b.goslings@gmail.com>> a écrit :
Thanks, Ricardo
Fyi: staff, who knew I was not going to be on the OFB call, asked me as co-penholder to incorporate potential comments from the group afterwards. Which meant I would have to listen to the recording, assuming it would be quickly available. No problem. Of course no one knew that the group would support the last version of the draft as is, but the request from staff did imply to me that we at least had some time to do a(nother) final review.
Anyway. I understand your point that, as there were no comments from the OFB WG, it was agreed to ask the ALAC to ratify the statement. I saw the message this morning, sent at 2AM CEST.
I do not really have anything to add. I will leave it to others to decide whether my _editorial_ suggestions, which from my perspective can easily and quickly be incorporated before the deadline, are worth considering.
take care Bastiaan
On 29 Jul 2020, at 17:54, Ricardo Holmquist <rihogris@gmail.com <mailto:rihogris@gmail.com>> wrote:
Hi Bastiaan, Yesterday, after the reading of the ATRT3 draft, there were no comments, thus it was agreed it will be the final draft, ready to be voted by ALAC. But, sure, you were part of the drafting team, and we were supposed to wait for you to make any arrangements after the OFBWG call. Of course there is the rush to vote before friday.
Best
Ricardo
El mié., 29 jul. 2020 17:36, Bastiaan Goslings <b.goslings@gmail.com <mailto:b.goslings@gmail.com>> escribió: Thanks, staff.
A couple of comments, after going over the final draft before I support ratification.
- Under point 1;
'With that, the ALAC supports the ATRT3 suggestion to introduce changes to the current structure of reviews, specifically by implementing a moratorium on launching any new Organizational and Specific Reviews until it has made a decision on this recommendation, as per Section 8 of the report).’
I assume the ‘it’ referred to here is the ICANN board? As it reads now, to me, it sounds like ‘it’ refers to the ALAC
As an alternative: ‘(…) , specifically by having the ICANN board implement a moratorium (…) until it has made a decision’ (etc)
- With regard to point 2:
This ('The ALAC fully endorses the recommendation’ (etc) does not follow logically from the introduction above point 1 ('we advise the ICANN Board to:’ and then come the 3 points)
As an alternative: remove the ’The ALAC fully endorses’ and replace with ‘Fully endorse'. You then get 'we advise the ICANN Board to: (…) 2. Fully endorse’ (etc)
- With regard to point 3:
This ('The ALAC shares’ (etc) does not follow logically either from the introduction above point 1 ('we advise the ICANN Board to:’ and then come the 3 points)
As an alternative: remove the ’The ALAC shares’ and replace with ’share’. You then get 'we advise the ICANN Board to: (…) 3. share the ATRT3 Review Team’s approach’ (etc)
(To make it even more clear, the 'we advise the ICANN Board to:’ could be added above both points 2 and 3 as well)
With regard to my point 2 and 3 remarks above, these of course only apply if we indeed want to explicitly state ''we advise the ICANN Board to’. If that is not the case, then we can remove the 'we advise the ICANN Board to:’ above point 1 and replace the ‘1. Swiftly implement ATRT3 recommendation to evolve both specific and organizational reviews as per Section 8 of the final report' with
’The ALAC is of the opinion that the ATRT3 recommendation to evolve both specific and organizational reviews as per Section 8 of the final report should be swiftly implemented’
Hope this makes sense,
regards Bastiaan
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